I’m a Ghost

As I mentioned here 2014 will be the year of bloggers, for bloggers. Influenced by this, and dedicated to E. at A Sign Of Life, please enjoy the following. 

E. is pretty much the most adorable thing on the internet…almost as much as her Fox’s on Fridays Posts. She is also an introvert, just like me. She’s recently been Freshly Pressed, deservedly so…and I’m pretty sure she has the answer to the question “What does the fox say?”

It’s interesting how things work our when I’m deciding who to write for each week. Usually what happens is while I’m writing this week’s post I have the next one in mind. Then, after it goes up, almost always, the person who I intended to write about is always one of the first to respond. It’s sort of like the universe is telling me that I was right to choose them. E. is this week’s right choice.

E. from A Sign Of Life. (Picture credit to E.)
E. from A Sign Of Life. (Picture credit to E.)

Anyway, back to the introvert-ism

I really am a ghost, or at least it must seem that way to those around me. When I enter a party or a get-together I always just walk in a stand off to the side, usually waiting for someone to walk up and talk to me. You see, I’m an introvert and I do believe I suffer from a mild case of social anxiety disorder. One-on-one I do just fine. You add a couple more people and I freeze up. This is probably how that little drinking problem started. Things are getting better socially for me though. I just want everyone to know, it’s not you, it’s me.

When I leave without saying goodbye, it’s me.

When I sit down and listen to your conversation, without offering anything, it’s me.

When I answer your question, and then become quiet again, it’s me.

When I answer your questions with a head shake, or a shrug, it’s me.

When I refer you to a past blog post to answer a question, it’s me.

When I stand at the printer looking at the wall, it’s me.

When I drive by and decide to go home because there are too many cars in the parking lot, it’s me.

When I eat lunch in silence, off to the side, it’s me.

I don’t want to be left alone, I just have trouble being the initiator. I will talk to you if you talk to me. I will tell you about me and my life. (It’s pretty interesting.) I will go to events, sometimes. I will feel uncomfortable, but things will get better. Life is like walking the opposite direction on a moving escalator.  There is no standing still. We are either moving forward or going backwards. Keep moving forward.

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. ~ Isaiah 43: 18


*Feature Image Credit: Really, Fox News?

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18 thoughts on “I’m a Ghost

  1. What a pleasant surprise to wake up to this morning — thank you BroJo! 😀
    I know some introverts (and paranoid extroverts) do this, so I’m curious: do you often stand or sit with your back to a wall, facing a door? Or do you prefer to sit with your back to the door?
    Have a wonderful week! 🙂

  2. I could’ve written these words myself. I so get them. Luckily, over time, probably thanks to my professional life, I’ve been able to bite the bullet and overcome some of these things. But I have to work at it, and it’s never easy. Plus, I’m always exhausted when I get home. Have you read Susan Cain’s book yet? I think you’d like it.

    1. Thanks! I’ll have to check that out. I’m getting much better too. I actually went to a singles event a couple weekends ago. Didn’t say much, but I was there.

  3. I have trouble thinkin up what to say to people lots of times. Like I see them and I want to say hi! But my mind goes blank and so I just smile at them really intensely like an idiot and hope they say something first to rescue me from frozen land. Sometimes they do.

  4. Introverts! Yay!! It takes me a bit to warm up to a crowded room, and once I do I can talk pretty well throughout the night, but I stick to a couple of familiar people and rarely meet anyone new or have conversations with people I’ve only met a time or two.
    How did the BI meet-up go this weekend?

    1. I think that’s how it is for me back home. Here in this new fancy place I have to work extra hard to not be so quiet.

      Well, I had one person register…and she didn’t show up. While I was waiting another girl started talking to me online, acting like she wanted to come, but it didn’t work out. There’s always next time I guess. At least the food was good.

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