bloggers

Double Oh Seven

As I mentioned here 2014 will be the year of bloggers, for bloggers. Influenced by this, and dedicated to Melanie at This Is My Corn, please enjoy the following. 

I’m not sure where to start. Melanie is pretty awesome. She helped me out with something that I didn’t even know I needed help with. She grills wearing a dress and boots and she can do a mean cart-wheel. A few months ago, before I had quit my job and moved to Dallas, I was talking with a recruiter who told me of a possible position in the Atlanta, GA area. The first thing I did was ask a buddy if he knew any bloggers down that way. He immediately tried to help by posting the question on his Facebook Page. Within twenty minutes Melanie replied that, that was where she lived. I didn’t know much about her back then. If I knew then what I know now, I would’ve done all I could to get that job. Being that close to awesome can only bring good things.

Can you say Grill Master? (Credit to Melanie)
Can you say Grill Master? (Credit to Melanie)

And on top of that, did anyone else notice the frog playing the bass back there? Yeah, that’s really happening.

Any way, back to the flips.

It’s no secret that I used to drink – a lot. Back in my younger days it really wasn’t a problem, other than skipping class almost every morning and being about fifteen minutes late to work – every day. Just before tuning 21 I moved into a three bedroom mobile home with three other guys. Can you do math? That’s four guys in a three bedroom MOBILE HOME. At one point we had five guys living there, one of which shared my room. We were all 20, the oldest turning 21 right after we moved in, so it was Party Time, Excellent – all the time. I never managed to acquire the taste for beer so I stuck with Canadian Mist and Coke most of the time.

Warning – Third Person Action

Now, drunk BroJo is something very different from what most of you have come to know. He is talkative, witty, loud, flirty, funny and very charming. He might be close to the Internet version of BroJo, but even further from the norm. In fact, one night drunk BroJo danced in his underwear with a tree, but that’s a story for another time (that I will NEVER tell.) After a few of these parties BroJo decided he would get a laugh. BroJo thought how about I run over there, do a somersault, then hide behind that truck. So, that’s what he did. The whole lot of them were laughing and hooting and hollering. It was a grand ole time. Someone walked up and asked BroJo what he was doing. All he could say was “I’m Double Oh Seven, man”. And that’s when it all began.

Back then BroJo was a svelte 200 pounds, unlike his chunky 240 right now. He could readily do this action any time someone asked for it, which was often. But, you all know that saying? It’s all good until someone gets hurt. Well, BroJo got hurt. He was doing his performance in a different part of the yard one night. The part of the yard that was close to the burn barrels. They weren’t burning trash, but there was still some trash littered around the yard. BroJo got into position, readied, ran and dove for it. He rolled and had immediate pain on his back. BroJo laid there for a moment, reaching over to see what had almost killed him. (At least it felt like it.) A spray paint can. BroJo had rolled over a spray paint can. He got up and limped into the house. Party was over, at least for him.

I only performed this trick one time afterwards. It was about two years later and I had lost my edge. I did it, but regretted it immediately.

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you. ~ 1 Peter 5: 10

*Featured Image Credit: Deckerthomas.com

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18 thoughts on “Double Oh Seven

      1. Hahaha! Right?! A couple of toddler tumbles is all it takes to make my adult muscles scream. I’m glad you survived your 007 moves, even with that paint can trying to stop you.

        1. Yeah. We’re talking over ten years ago, before camera phones that had more than three pixels. There’s probably some undeveloped throw a way cameras some where.

          Thanks. It’s pretty fun to come up with these.

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