Sipping on Nothing

As I mentioned here 2014 will be the year of bloggers, for bloggers. Influenced by, and dedicated to Jen at Sips of Jen and Tonic, please enjoy the following. 

Jen and I have been BFF’s forever. She is also the first person in these “blogger posts” who I’ve actually met in person. One of our first exchanges on Facebook was me telling her that she was a part of my family now, and I really do think that. There are several instances and stories that come about in my life that I don’t deem fit for the pages of my blog. I still feel the need to share them with someone though, and that someone usually ends up being Jen. She is the influence behind the Funny Dad Friday posts that I had late in 2012. She wants to save spiders for some reason and she enjoys the occasional tonic drink. I made up the last part. Maybe it’s occasional, maybe it’s not.

We must remember this when we go looking for Jen after a Bobcat kidnaps here during one of her hiking trips. (Credit:
We must remember this when we go looking for Jen after a Bobcat kidnaps here during one of her hiking trips. (Credit:

Something happened while I was with my dad that reminded me of her for some reason, but first this…

The nose and mustache are fake, the eyebrows though...(Credit to Jen)
The nose and mustache are fake, the eyebrows though…(Credit to Jen)

Any way, back to the Sips!

The Friday before I was to head back to Dallas my dad asked me if I would like to go out to The Bayou for a snack, just for a few minutes – no big deal. All I had planned for the night was to finish packing and to try and attend my home Ward’s Game Night. The Bayou has some really good food so I said sure and waited for the time to go. We had been watching Dexter on Netflix for the past 78 hours so a break was very much welcome. We headed out about 6 o’clock.

The game night started at 6:30 and ran until 8:30 so I had plenty of time, or so I thought. I drove, along the way hearing dad say something about sneaking in the back door. I thought he was joking, but when we got there I soon realized he meant it, so I parked around back. We walked into a fairly packed house and bellied up to the bar at the end where there were two empty seats. I sat next to dad and an insurance salesman friend of mine. I made small talk with him and dad for a few minutes. They talked about the number of insurance commercials one could see. This was brought on because the Cotton Bowl was on the TV. Sponsored by AT&T.

I can’t believe insurance doesn’t sponsor more things like this.

They don’t need to because of all the commercials.

Let me tell you, it was riveting. (Sorry guys… but you have to admit.) In the middle of all that talk we managed to order a beer for dad, a coke for me and some fried pickles for the two of us. If I can say something about bar food – it’s magnificent. Fried tacos and fried green beans and fried cheese curds and fried EVERYTHING! And you know what else? You can dip it all in RANCH! Except maybe the tacos. No, I take that back. You can especially dip the tacos.


I was sitting there, watching some college football, enjoying some fried pickles and Coca Cola when I looked up and noticed something about the bottles stacked up against the wall. The old faithful (Crown Royal) was still in its usual spot. There was something missing though. And the thing is, it had always been missing. I never was well-to-do enough to drink Crown every night, so I would usually go with Canadian Mist. Everyone had Canadian Mist – except this place, and guess what? They still don’t have it. Then this thought entered my mind.

It’s been nearly two and half years since I’ve had a drink. Is it alright for me to be upset because this place STILL doesn’t carry my preferred whiskey?

Jen, do you think you could help me out with this? I mean, I never plan on ordering it again, so what’s the difference if they don’t have it? But… I don’t know.

We ended our night at about 7:45, giving me plenty of time to go say goodbye to some of my Church friends, the above question still running through my mind. I slayed at some Apples to Apples and then was on my way.

Canadian Mist (Credit:
Canadian Mist (Credit:

There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me. ~ David Hasselhoff

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. ~ Romans 12: 2

*Featured Photo Credit:

49 thoughts on “Sipping on Nothing

  1. 🙂 Awww, what a lovely tribute to the rockstar that is Jen! The Hasselhoff quote is frightening, and yep– you’re totally entitled to represent your drink, even if you don’t intend to drink it. We speak for our drinks because our drinks have no words…

    And yeah, I think I just turned a Dr.Seuss quote about saving the world into an argument for complaining to bars about drinks. But I stand by it. 🙂

    1. I’m not sure why they don’t have it. The sale of that brand went Way down a few years ago, so maybe no one in Monett carries it anymore. Maybe they’re outta business?

  2. Fried tacos? Anything else I eat today is going to pale in comparison.

    And I get you on the CM. It’s the principle of it all.

  3. You are so right that bar food rocks! You are so right that Jen rocks! I had heard that she has beautiful eyebrows. Thank you for the picture confirming that. Ooo la la. But seriously… She is genuine and funny, kind to others and true to herself. She’s a fabulous writer with it, so she’s really the whole package. That David Hasselhoff hasn’t swooped in to woo her is beyond me. His loss really, not that that helps her.

  4. First, this is awesome. I like this side of BroJo, a lot, and I think he should come out to play more.

    Second, bar food is amazing. I think this is the appeal of Jack in the Box because it’s like bar food, but for people who don’t want to/can’t go to a bar. THOSE tacos are so addictive.

    Lastly, I think the issue about the Crown Royal is about the principle of the matter. Crown Royal is delicious and seems like an essential part of bar inventory. The fact that they don’t have it seems strange, almost like they have a vendetta against the Crown Royal people.

    1. When I moved from St Louis to Atlanta the first place I missed was Jack in the Box. I’ve been known to hit the drive-thru to sneak it in on my way out of town.

        1. I was planning to just pop in and say how much, as a bartender, I enjoyed this post. But then this mention of Talenti Gelato stopped me cold. I love the pistachio and sea salt caramel. And the little screw-top container.

          This thread is snack heaven. Fried pickles. Ranch. I’m hungry.

    2. Glad you like it Jen. I have a feeling you’ll appreciate some if the upcoming posts as well.

      Mmm, tacos.

      And, sorry, it was the Canadian mist missing, not the crown. I wouldn’t step foot in a bar that didn’t serve crown…no matter how long I’ve been sober. But I agree. The Mist should be essential also. It’s crown for the drunk people that don’t care.

      1. I guess I’ve been drinking too much since I read that incorrectly. Also, the same logic still stands. It’s how I feel when I find a 7-11 that doesn’t have coke flavored slurpees. I mean, really?

    3. I think this is the appeal of Jack in the Box because it’s like bar food, but for people who don’t want to/can’t go to a bar.

      TOTALLY pegged it.

      oh, and regarding Crown Royal– I see its value in a different way. Before the tabletop/pen and paper RPG industry caught on, those Crown Royal bags were a MUST HAVE for gamers to keep all their multi-sided dice. I am full-on, totally serious.

  5. I have never had a great fried pickle. I think maybe it’s something we don’t know how to do properly in Canada. I know for a fact canadian mist is still in existence, but I am guessing that Seagrams wrestled them out of the way a long time ago. Pretty haughty for something that is brewed in Winnipeg.

    1. I don’t know why but I never could stomach seagrams 7. Probably cause the mist came in a gallon jug. If you’re gonna do it…

      Hmm, sorry about the fried pickles. I bet the things you have covered in gravy are better than ours.

      1. Crown used to be owned by Seagrams. Maybe it still is. This seems like a really inappropriate thing to talk about with a recovering alcoholic. So instead I will say that I hope there is a repeat of blogger interactive one day that both you and jen attend so I can meet you both.

      2. As in poutine? I’ve never been able to create that successfully… I met another blogging guy at C4C that said we should have a poutine fries joint. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it’s unlikely to happen in our little “emerging area” and I’m very unlikely to be the guy to start one, either.

  6. I am surprised to find more people on the planet who fit into my kind of STRANGE. lol I adore Jen’s big fluffy eyebrows and I’m always relieved when she shows THOSE to strangers, as opposed to her vagina. (Still giggling at that one, Jen! Sorry!)

    I’ve never heard of Canadian Mist. (So not a drinker.)

    Also nice to run across a fellow LDS blog person who isn’t afraid of the Interwebs!

    And I remember when David Hasselhoff said that…(I am SO old!)…he was involved in one of those Make a Wish things and some little boy only wanted to meet Michael Knight (This was the 80’s, people.) Hoff was expressing how humbling that was. He wasn’t sitting on his big leafy laurels proclaiming his awesomeness.

    After all, he has Jen for that.

    1. Yeah, that trail flashing threw me into giggle fits too.

      You’re not missing anything when it comes to drinking. Been there done that. I really think I went through that trial to either help people out of theirs or to help keep people from going down the same path.

      Yeah, I figured as much. The Hoff is cool. An easy target at times, but still pretty cool.

      Yay! Another Mormon! It is hard to find the regular ones out here. Most Mormon bloggers concentrate on the faith part of things. I like to show the whole package. Thanks for stopping by.

    2. See, BroJo, I’m telling you… there’s too many LDS bloggers on Blogger, and we are too hard to find here. We need to band together and show them how WordPress is so much more awesome, like you said!

  7. You met Jen in real life? Way cool!

    (I’m only 3-4 hours away from Portland, but it’s been a while since I made a visit.)

    Fried pickles… have yet to eat some. I suppose if I went back to the fair for some reason, I might be able to sample them there, but… lack of $$$ and other stuff. I’m still amazed at the sheer volume of Southern fried food. It like you can take ANYTHING and deep fry it. Pickles, Twinkies, Kool-Aid, custard, ice cream, candy bars, okra, turkeys… the list goes on and on and on and on.

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