It’s time to bring back the interview…again. I decided to do so after meeting Society Red in Austin this year, during Blogger Interactive. Here is how the correspondence proceeded.
How’s it going! These interviews used to be the talk of the town, until I got lazy and decided it was better to write posts about my cat. I think we need to make a comeback, and who better to do it with than you!
BroJo: In my opinion, vanilla is the greatest ice cream flavor. What say you?
SR: I think of vanilla ice cream the same way I think of white paint. Without added color, white paint is…boring. If I could only pick one flavor of ice cream it definitely wouldn’t be vanilla. It would be New York Super Fudge Chunk or Chocolate Chip Mint or just Peach. To me, eating vanilla ice cream is like slapping two pieces of bread together and calling it a sandwich; it’s got nothing. All that said, vanilla is my wife’s favorite flavor so that’s what’s in our freezer.
BroJo: With all of those note books you had, did you happen to have a “Butterfly Effect” thing happen before you burned them?
SR: Well look at the big brain on BroJo!
Every word written in every notebook described a circumstance that influenced my life as I know it today. They were written to help me sort out the present. When the present turned into the past they became obsolete. Burning reduced them to memories. Details aren’t as important to me as understanding the magnitude of impact.
BroJo: We had the pleasure of meeting at Blogger Interactive 2013. How do you keep up with Mrs. Red?
SR: Talk about the “Butterfly Effect” and magnitude of impact! Blogger Interactive 2013 was world-changing!
Keeping up with Mrs. Red? Even Clint knew that “a man’s got to know his limitations”. Trying to keep up with her would be a lesson in frustration. Mrs. Red and I see ourselves as professional wrestlers in a tag team match of life against the world; When she’s in the ring, I hang back. When I’m in the ring, she’s yells instructions. When we’re both in the ring, somebody on the other team is getting hit upside the head with a folding chair.
BroJo: You do have a glorious head of hair. How long did it take you to grow it?
SR: Many people ask me that question; the hair on my head has been growing for over 56 years.
BroJo: First date at the Grammy’s? Thanks for ruining things for the rest of us guys.
SR: You’ll have to blame that one on Mrs. Red. She won the tickets and invited me to go with her instead of her best girlfriend. Something about me having something her girlfriend didn’t. Probably the hair.
BroJo: What’s your favorite type of fish to throw?
SR: The Pike Place Market fish guys made a great video about teamwork and having fun and throwing fish. It’s shown all over the world as a motivational example. Big whoop. Have you ever thrown a fish? Of course not! They’re cold and slimy and heavy! I throw Swedish Fish into my gaping pie hole while sitting and watching football in my comfortable chair next to the fire. They’re sweet and chewy and colorful and they make me smile. Sometimes I’m a team of one.
BroJo: Favorite type of seafood to eat?
SR: I love all kinds of seafood but I don’t eat anything that crawls on the bottom for obvious reasons. My favorite type of seafood is the kind that I eat after I’ve cooked it on the grill with asparagus and crispy grilled potatoes anywhere on the island of Maui.
BroJo: Thank you for not letting me fall off that bridge in Austin.
SR: There was never anything to worry about there BroJo. Unless you were to fall onto one of those boats below and cracked your head like a melon, or got tangled underwater in some abandoned rope, milky eyes looking upward, hand waving with the swift current; or got bit by one or more of those bats on the way down that were probably rabid and then waited to die on a muddy bank somewhere downstream, unable to call out, drinking gallons of putrid river water while fighting off Copperheads and cotton-mouths.
Like I said, nothing to worry about; you were more likely to be hurt by one of those crazy drivers behind us in the road.
BroJo: I just read your guest post on The Chowderhead. Finish this sentence. BroJo is like…
SR: BroJo is like a young Labrador, inquisitive, loyal, initially tentative and reserved but quick to warm up, and unaware yet of the extent of his strength and power. And he likes to eat and poop.
BroJo: Celebrity lookalike?
SR: You? That’s easy. You’re a cross between George Kennedy and Fabio.
BroJo: What’s your opinion of Fabio?
SR: That dude made a mark on the world with his hair and his chin. Whatever works, right?
BroJo: What is your favorite bird? The goose?
SR: The goose is in my top five because of the Fabio’s face vs. goose incident of 1999 but overall my favorite bird would have to be the Red-Shafted Flicker; because of the name.
SR: Tom Waits is the king of rasp; I have all his work, including that one. “He flows like the big muddy, but that’s ok, pour him over ice cream, for a nice parfait”. I get this.
BroJo: How bout those Mariners? They ever going to get good again?
SR: That’s baseball, right? No. Never
BroJo: Let’s see, I need one more questions…Oh! Your Gravatar, the one with the hat. You look totally bad ass. What’s the context of that photo?
SR: That photo was taken by my brother-in-law on the 9th day of a grueling 10-day backpacking trip in the Sierras. That’s the exact moment I realized I would soon be eating real food, sleeping on a real bed, and not having to dig a hole in the ground to take care of business. Bad-ass.