humor

A Day in the Life of BroJo

5:10 a.m. – Alarm goes off. Hit snooze button…lay there and fall back asleep or wait for alarm to go off again – all depending on how dinner has decided to sit with me during the night.

5:20 a.m. – Alarm goes off. Hit snooze button…lay there and fall back asleep or wait for alarm to go off again – all depending on how dinner has decided to sit with me during the night. Answer late night/early morning text from Kessabug.

5:30 a.m. – Alarm goes off. Hit snooze button…Mini jumps up and lies on top of me. I pet her for a moment then shift my weight, causing her to jump off.

5:42 a.m. – Alarm goes off. I’ve managed to sleep through some of it. Hooray. Hit snooze button.

5:52 a.m. – Alarm goes off. Mini is sitting underneath me asking me to get up now. NO! Hit the snooze button.

6:03 a.m. – Alarm goes off. Hit the “dismiss” button. Sit up and open laptop, pulling up the internet. Check Facebook, WordPress, Gmail account one, Gmail account two, Yahoo news and the other blogs I read that aren’t on WordPress. Mini wants to see what’s happening on the webs too. She jumps up in my way. I push her away. She comes back, I push her away. She comes back, I push her away. She comes back; I pick her up and bring her to my face, giving her my undivided attention. She doesn’t like this. I set her down, she runs away.

6:33 a.m. – I head to the bathroom to get ready. Along the way I pick up under clothing and the jeans that I will wear for the day. I throw my clothes on the ground in the bathroom, turn on the shower, take my place at my thrown…and proceed to “take care of business”, allowing the water to heat up. If I choose to shave this day I will start running hot water over my shaving cream.

6:45 a.m. – Step into shower…lather, rinse and repeat. Remember that I forgot to pray when I woke up, so I take a moment under the running water to give thanks and ask for help and guidance.

7:00 a.m. – Dry off and put on clothes. Go into my bedroom and find the least wrinkled shirt. Go back into the bathroom, apply deodorant and body spray before putting shirt on. Fix hair. Today is going to be a good hair day…well, every day is.

7:07 a.m. – Find socks, put on shoes and head to work.

7:18 a.m. – Clock in on my work computer. Check e-mails, deleting the junk and spam ones. (I guess there’s a difference.) If I bring my lunch to work I would tuck it away in a officemates mini-fridge right now.

7:25 a.m. – Get to work.

8:25 a.m. – Second Dumpsies! I’m like a Hobbit when it comes to the early morning routine…except mine deals with the food leaving my body rather than it entering.

9:30 a.m. – Break Time. I go outside and chat-chit with a few guys from the office, along the side of our building. This is away from the smokers, so it’s nice. (No offense to smokers…I’m just talking about the temptation part of it.)

9:46 a.m. – Head back inside and…Get to work.

9:50-11:00 a.m. – Watch the clock very closely, for I am the hungriest that I have ever been In. My Life!

11:08 a.m. – Notice that it’s lunch time. Go pick it up from the mini-fridge. Get blocked on my way to the microwave because the Keeper wants to know if it will stink or not. It will stink…everything, always stinks from that microwave.

11:15 a.m. – Sit down at desk for lunch. Enjoy some Solitaire or Hearts while I eat. Also check up on Facebook, WordPress, Gmail #1 and Gmail #2 again.

11:30 a.m. – Have lunch interrupted by someone who needs something. (Every. Single. Time.)

11:45 a.m. – Finish lunch. Share pleasantries with workmates about weekend. Tell my supervisor about the 365-day writing challenge that I’m having a go with. I tell him that it’s supposed to help with writer’s block. He says “Programmers get writer’s block too?” to which I admit for the first time “Hey, I’m a writer!”

12:00 p.m. – Get back to work.

12:01-2:20 p.m. – Watch the clock very closely, for I am the sleepiest that I have ever been In. My Life! I need to get up and move around. Share e-mails and text messages with Kessabug. This makes the time go be quicker. Oh…and there is a Third Dumpsies somewhere in this time frame also.

2:28 p.m. – Notice that it’s almost break time. Take break. It’s hot this time of year so I sit at my desk through break playing either Solitaire or Hearts…or writing something to be posted at a later date.

2:46 p.m. – Get back to work. One hour and fourteen minutes to go. This is the home stretch.

3:49-4:00 p.m. – Keep a very close eye on the clock. Tap feet…fidget around.

4:00 p.m. – Clock out. Drive home. Check mailbox. Walk up stairs and enter apartment. Mini is happy to see me. She looks up, meows and then falls over on the floor right in front of me. I walk over her and notice all of my dirty socks strung out all over the living room floor. She is a weird kitty. I empty out all of my pockets…change into shorts and head to the trusty ole futon.

4:15 p.m. – Log on and check out Facebook, WordPress, Gmail #1, Gmail #2 and Yahoo news. I also put in a DVD…it’s just there for back ground noise.

5:30 p.m. – Receive phone call from Kessabug. Listen to how her day has gone while she drives home from work. I don’t say much, because my days are usually quite boring compared to hers.

6:30 p.m. – Grab some dinner, usually something easy like Top Ramen or Frozen Pizza. Every once in a while I’ll actually cook something…but not often enough to list it here. Try to get on internet. Fail. Try to get on internet. Fail. Try to get on internet. Fail. FINE…maybe I’ll just read a book.

7:30 p.m. – Either switch DVD’s or hit play again on the previous one. Sit down with the trusty ole laptop and do some writing, in the middle of answering text messages and checking up on Facebook. (Maybe I have a problem.) Mini wants to help. She jumps up and gets in the way. I push her down. She jumps up and gets in the way. I push her down. She jumps up and gets in the way. I pick her up and bring her face to mine, giving her my undivided attention. She doesn’t like this. I put her down. She runs away.

9:30 p.m. – Forget that I haven’t read any scriptures today so I grab my Book of Mormon and read a few verses. Grab something sweet to eat.

9:50 p.m. – Put in a DVD that I actually intend on watching. Something new…or something that I haven’t seen…too many times. X-Men: First Class, Wolverine and Red all come to mind.

11:30 p.m. – Time for bed, regardless of whether the movie is over or not. Say prayers. Adjust heat or Air conditioner accordingly. Lay down, fall asleep…but not before feeling Mini jump up and cuddle down around my feet.

alarm clocks
alarm clocks (Photo credit: paperfacets) Time to get ready for these again.

 

 

9 thoughts on “A Day in the Life of BroJo

  1. 1) Why do you even bother setting that alarm so early? Or is it just routine at this point?

    2) How much fiber do you eat? Seriously. You’re like a…..whatever poops a lot.

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