family · Stories

Happy Muddah’s Day

I’m sitting here trying to figure out the best way to pay tribute to my Mom for Mother’s Day. I can’t really think of a good anecdote to tell, that really conveys what I’m feeling, so maybe a few will suffice.

She has done a lot – and I mean a lot – of, lets just say, different things in her life.

For instance…She can’t hardly get passed a day without enjoying a $3.39 Café-Mocha-Caramel-Latté-Half Skim-Whatever on Whatever…”Oh, that’s not what I ordered” coffee drink. And you know what? Every time I’ve ever been with her while she’s ordered this type of drink, from McDonald’s or anywhere else, IT’S NEVER BEEN RIGHT! “That’s not what I ordered!” Guess what mom…maybe you ordered the wrong thing. Sorry.

Also, I don’t drink coffee. She knows this…but has still offered a sip to me. *sigh*

@ Lulu Carpenter's
@ Lulu Carpenter’s (Photo credit: itselea)

Then there’s the Virginia Slims. Growing up she had to have Virginia Slims. Regular Virginia Slims. Anything else was blasphemous. That changed just a few short years ago for some reason. Now…gimme the cheap ones over there. Well, that’s not quite right. She sticks with the high-class cheap ones, which Marlboro Lights have somehow become. I used to smoke. I smoked Marlboro Lights for a long time…and Marlboro Menthol Lights right before I quit. You know the difference between Marlboro Lights and Regular Virginia Slims? Yeah, Regular Virginia Slims kicked my butt. They’re more harsh than a Marlboro Red. So, I guess in a way she’s taken a step in the right direction.

1978 Virginia Slims magazine ad. The image at ...
1978 Virginia Slims magazine ad. Virginia Slims – Slimmer than the fat cigarettes men smoke.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Also…longer, so it takes more time for them to kill you.

You ever watched sports with your Mom? If you don’t you should try it sometime. She tries to keep up while she’s doing other things around the house – like cooking dinner or doing laundry. Sometimes exciting things happen while she’s not in the room. Sometimes she’ll hear a group of us yelling, hooting and hollering at the TV. Sometimes she’ll join in…from the other room – not knowing what is going on. Once she ran in the living room exclaiming “Woo-Hoo!!…………..what happened?” Ha.

2012 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Schedule Wallpaper
2012 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Schedule Wallpaper (Photo credit: Hawk Eyes)

Some of my favorite food of all time has come out of her kitchen. Also, some of my most unliked food has come out of her kitchen. She makes smothered steak, chicken and noodles, anything Italian, and a taco ring that are all really great. She also likes to cook pork chops and other similar things. I don’t like pork chops – at all. Often she’ll invite me over to dinner….and cook me pork chops. “Oh, I figured this was a new recipe – and you might like it.” This has happened a few times. Guess what Mom? I DON’T Like pork chops….no matter how they’re cooked. (Except maybe in a crock pot…but hey, anything cooked in a crock pot will eventually turn tasty.)

Pork, pork and more pork
Pork, pork and more pork (Photo credit: su-lin) Or, as I like to say it Gross, Gross and more Gross.

Lastly, mom isn’t really much of a drinker…or at least she didn’t used to be. Growing up I could count on one hand the amount of times I saw her drink alcohol. Things are a little bit different today. I spent this past New Year’s with her and my brother. I was to bring the snacks and he was told to bring a couple of bottles of wine, because, and I quote – “I’m not sure, but I think there’s only two in the fridge.” Why the two bottles in the fridge wasn’t enough is beyond me. But wait, there’s more. When Bruddah finally arrived, with two bottles in hand, he checked for a spot to put them in the fridge. To his surprise he counted five…yes, five…bottles of wine already in there…chilling for the night. I guess the more you drink the harder it is to count.

Muddah...Happy Muddah's Day!
Muddah…Happy Muddah’s Day!

Mom…sorry to let the cat out of the bag for Mother’s day, but you have to admit – it was all going to come out sooner or later. Hey, you can look at it this way – Now you’re WordPress Famous. WOO-HOO….what happened?

I Love You – Happy Mother’s Day!

8 thoughts on “Happy Muddah’s Day

  1. “anything cooked in a crock pot will eventually turn tasty.”—Tell my boys that, will you? Whenever they see me get my crockpot out, they groan. Probably because it means a tasty soup loaded with veggies…

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