funny · humor · Oddities

The Keeper of the Redbox

I know it’s Sunday, but I’ve nothing better to do as I ride to Bruddah’s Deployment Ceremony.

Last night I had a first in my life. I returned some redbox rentals after just one day of use. This may be surprising to some that have visited my apartment – I have a large collection of forgotten redbox DVDs. This isn’t the story though.

I just so happened to run into an old acquaintance, who I hadn’t seen in about a year or two. He was always a nice guy so I was somewhat excited to see him…and then he reminded me of why it’d been so long since seeing him. Here’s our conversation.

“Are you returning…oh hey…don’t tell me. Ah….Jon, right?”

“Yep, how’s it going Jack (name changed to protect this guy)? Yeah, just returning.”

“Cool, what ya got there?”

He then began to insult the movies I was bringing back.

“That one was good.” (for the new Bourne movie)
“Pffffft…..” (for ‘Here Comes the Boom’….which was really good)
“Never heard of it.” (for ‘Ten Years’….also good)

“What’s with the facial hair Jon?”

“Uh…I don’t like shaving.”

“I don’t like it either, but I do. You got all sorts of grey in there. Geeze….you’re younger than me. Man that’s grey.”


“Well, at least you can hide it….just for men. I can’t hide the fact that my hair is falling out.”

“Yeah, see you later.”

“Oh, you don’t want to rent anymore?”

“Nope…” (that’s a hard pass.)

I can’t wait to run into Lord Redbox again….in another couple of years.

15 thoughts on “The Keeper of the Redbox

  1. I’m glad you didn’t say “to protect the innocent” because this guy isn’t. What happened to silently judging? What happened to not caring what movies other people watch? I hope he’s forced to grow out a really long grey beard and watch Here Comes the Boom and Ten Years over and over again….maybe for ten years?

  2. Some people were destined to drive us insane with their inane, unfair, socially jarring and rude comments and criticisms. For those people, god created the redbox line.

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