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The Finale Wrangler Post

I’m pretty sure the ACOFCMW™ isn’t really up for grabs anymore, but I still feel the need to give it an obligatory “third time is a charm” post. Plus, Twindaddy is starting to get a little too cocky. This is for him and the other participants – but mainly just for him.

Now that I got that out-of-the-way, let’s get down to business. Soon after uploading my first plea tightly wrapped, freshly pressed sealed post, which had me as the FIRST contestant to throw their hat into the ring, I found out that it was used by a High School English teacher to show her students what Modern Satire looked like. The Onion – and Me, used to sculpt young minds. All I can say to this is…I’m so sorry parents. There’s one of two things that can happen. Either I can write something more educational and better suited for you children (which isn’t going to happen) – OR – You can all move to a different school district. Let me know if you need any help house hunting!

Ever since I uploaded my SPAM post it’s gotten worse. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to help out with this epidemic, but what I can do is start a non-profit group, raise awareness and hopefully not get caught up in a doping scandal. How does that sound? Lets get right into all of the silly e-mails I’ve gotten over the last week or two. First off I want to say, pay attention. I will – more than likely – not show another picture like this on my site.

This would be a nice place to visit. Right?
This would be a nice place to visit. Right?

I don’t know what they are trying to sell me here, but I do know something. There is nothing I would like to do more in this world then go to the most beautiful beach imaginable…and…LOOK UP PICTURES OF THE BEACH ON MY LAPTOP. And in any case…that laptop would be dead in like 3-5 hours anyway – tops.

My Gosh. This dude looks way too menacing, in the daylight.
My Gosh. This dude looks way too menacing, in the daylight.

Who knew it would be so easy to break through this plastic door, while using that plastic crowbar. (I sure hope you didn’t see me put the keys back into my pocket) I’m so happy my pleather coat is keeping all of my stinky burglar juices in. I wouldn’t want to leave a stench behind.

How convenient that the people standing in line are doing so in ascending order.
How convenient that the people standing in line are doing so in ascending order.

This ad has taught me so much. Ethnic ladies like to steal stuff. Overdeveloped Blondes drive too fast. Black people drink…a lot. Old guys are creepy. College dropouts like to live on other peoples dimes. And most importantly? Only people with clown noses know how to smile!

Remote entry for a home or office door? Yes please! Keys are too inconvenient.
Remote entry for a home or office door? Yes please! Keys are too inconvenient.

Hold on a second while I text that burglar from up top. I haven’t got much to say about this ad, other than if you would like a little snicker…look up. If I can’t make you laugh then maybe the sponsors name will. Speaking of sponsors, I would like to give a huge ups to this posts sponsor…Zach Braff.

Garden State was great...but would have been better with a clown nose.
Garden State was great…but would have been better with a clown nose.

Thank you so much. I don’t know if I ever could have gotten through the mid to later 2000’s without “Scrubs“. I can totally hear the nail going into all of those coffins. Specially made coffins that fit people wearing white armor and silly helmets.

Secret Blogging Secrets. Oh, and credit for the pictures go to my Inbox again, except for the last one. That one came from Wikipedia.

How about this Photoshop work? Not half bad if I do say so myself. (Credit: Scrubs)
How about this Photoshop work? Not half bad if I do say so myself. (Credit: Scrubs)

25 thoughts on “The Finale Wrangler Post

  1. BroJo,
    Your effort is commendable, but pointless. I have it in the bag. But you can cover for me while I’m vacations and such. I will bestow that little bit of glory upon you.
    Twindaddy

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