In the middle of the room sits a step stool. Step stools are cool, especially for people like me, who are a little shorter than the rest. They are alternately cool because they are just short enough themselves, also good for people like me, who are afraid of heights. This isn’t my greatest fear, but it is close.
In one corner of the room sits a podium. Many times I’ve stood behind this podium, knees knocking, hands sweaty – shaky, adjusting and readjusting my glasses. My heart pounds three times the normal rate. This isn’t my greatest fear though. I’m able to approach and depart without dying…well, at least now I am.
In another corner of the room sits a ladder. I like to stand at the bottom of this ladder, sometimes holding it for a brave soul venturing up to figure out a problem. Sometimes I, myself, will go up – but only a rung or two. This isn’t my greatest fear though. I could go up if I wanted to; I just choose to not want to.
In the third corner of the room lays a snake. When I’m looking at this snake I cannot move – I cannot make a sound. I have an irrational fear of any and all snakes. I tell myself “hey, they’re shown as evil in the Bible…that’s all the reason I need.” This is my greatest fear in the world. That is why there is a step stool in here.
I am standing on the step stool, facing the fourth corner, buying my time until all of this is over. Why must you put me through this? Haven’t you got anything better to do? Go pick on someone else Big Brother!