I’m extremely distracted nowadays. I have plenty of things to write about, but nothing really substantial. Because of this I’ve decided to just touch on a few things.
First some questions.
Does anyone do anything “figuratively” anymore? (This is also a contest to see how many times I can use the word “any” in a sentence.) People are literally talking about doing literally everything in a literal way. They’re doing it so much it literally makes me want to punch my literal cat in her literal face. I won’t do this, of course, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it.
Why is Unsweetened-Tea called such? We have Sweet-Tea, which is called Sweet-Tea because something has been added, to cause us to rename it. How do we make Unsweetened-Tea? Do we take sweetener out of Sweet-Tea? Nope. Why can’t we just call it Tea? This is a very similar idea to what Mitch Hedberg had to say about corn.
You know they call corn-on-the-cob “corn-on-the-cob,” right? But that’s how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that “corn”, and they should call every other version “corn-off-the-cob.” It’s not like if you cut off my arm you would call my arm “Mitch”, but then re-attach it and call it “Mitch-all-together.”
Now for some news.
I’ve had a phone call tonight. This phone call has told me when my interview with the Stake President will be. It’s tomorrow, at 7:30 p.m. I don’t foresee any problems, so afterward I will be a full-fledged Temple Recommend carrying member of the Church. Boom goes the dyn-o-mite. This interview will happen at the new Joplin Stake Center. The Stake Center was dedicated a couple of months ago. You may remember a little tornado that went through Joplin, about a year and a half ago. Among other things, it took out the old Stake Center. The new one is wonderful, and I’m excited to visit it again tomorrow.
I’ve been catching up on my blog. I like to think that I’m an excellent gift giver – but this is extra hard. I mean, when I first got the e-mail I thought of course they give the nice Mormon by THAT blog. But, after doing some reading I’ve discovered that this person may be my long-lost relative. We have a lot more in common than you would think. The problem is its super tough to not just say “Hey free round trip to some exotic place!!” Yeah, I’m sure everyone would enjoy that. I have to be more clever than that. I will think of something, at the last moment. I always do. My best Christmas shopping happens on December 24th anyway. Thank you Emily and Ashley for putting this on. Did I mention that I LOVED stuffed vegetables? Hmmm – now I’m hungry.
Now for some explaining.
We believe the Temple to be the literal house of the Lord and our Heavenly Father. Now, we don’t think of them sitting around, lounging in a Lay-Z-Boy with a cold one watching the Saints beat the Redskins. Unless a person is transfigured (The condition of persons who are temporarily changed in appearance and nature—that is, lifted to a higher spiritual level—so that they can endure the presence and glory of heavenly beings.) they cannot behold the Glory of our Heavenly Father. “In the temple we are taught, we make covenants, and we are promised blessings. We receive ordinances that enable us to live in the presence of God.”
In order to become “Temple Worthy” we live by a set of standards. We abide by the Law of Chastity, Word of Wisdom, Law of Tithing and other such things. We answer a set of questions that deal with the above listed and whether or not we believe, have faith, are honest, etc. These are basically the same questions we hear during most other interviews. I’ve heard them a few times now. Before Baptism. When I received my temporary Temple Recommend and Patriarchal Blessing. When I received the Melchizedek Priesthood. The only difference is this interview includes a question that basically ask, do you deem yourself worthy to enter into the House of the Lord?
If anyone out there has anymore questions, please let me know. Whether they’re Church related, personal, or neither doesn’t matter. I’ll answer. I promise. Even if you just want my opinion on which is better; Townhouse or Ritz crackers, I’ll answer.