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Pros and Cons of being a Single 30-Something Dude

The other day WordPress witnessed an attack on one of our own, by one of our own. When I read the original post I thought it was witty, funny, and I accepted it as tongue in cheek. I was nowhere near offended by it or thought any different of the writer. The thing is I can’t apply for this position. I’m sorry TWTG, but I don’t quite meet the criteria. I don’t drink, my Chevy Blazer is a ’97, and I am still yet a baby at the age of 30 – even. So, since I have to forgo this application process, and stay single for a little while longer, I figured I’d share the pros and cons of doing so.

**Food**

Pro – I get to eat what I want, when I want, without anyone trying to take a bite off my plate.

Con – What I want, when I want, consist of a lot of processed food like Top Ramen, Tostino’s Pizza, and frozen chimichangas. Not really the type of food someone is trying to steal off of your plate anyway.

Pro – I receive a lot of dinner invitations, from a lot of people that are very good cooks.

Con – Sometimes when you show up to these dinners there is a surprise guest of the opposite sex. (This isn’t really a con, just something to be ready for.)

**Entertainment**

Pro – The clicker is mine, I own it, I regulate it. The DVD player is too. I choose what movies and shows get played.

Con – I still have a cat. If she feels like having attention, I can’t ignore it, even if I want to.

Pro – I don’t much mind being alone so it’s easy to keep myself occupied.

Con – It’s hard to justify $18 at the movies for a movie that was unnecessarily made in 3D, and a large soda.

**Sleeping Arrangement**

Pro – I have a couch, futon, and queen sized bed to sleep on when ever I need to.

Con – Remember that cat I talked about? I only have a couch and a futon to sleep on when I need to.

Pro – It’s a one bedroom apartment so there’s not that much space to clutter up.

Con – I only had a window unit during the summer, and it was in the living room, so this is why the cat thinks she owns the queen sized bed.

**Extra-Circular Activities**

Pro – I’m able to volunteer for all sorts of events and activities.

Con – People know that I’m able to volunteer for all sorts of events and activities.

Pro – I have plenty of time to come up with Pro-Con lists.

Con – I always end up one con short of a full list.

You better have changed my sheets today Faddah Bruddah. I can’t hardly even look at you.

I think that’s pretty much it. This kind of fizzled out, didn’t it? Well, in any case, coming up next on Brother Jon – Do you listen to PodCast? If so, do I have one for you. And if you don’t, do I have one for you anyway.

37 thoughts on “Pros and Cons of being a Single 30-Something Dude

  1. Dude,
    I’m happy you liked this post. You’ve outdone yourself with this one. And it’s a nice gesture towards Kim, too. That pic with you and the kitty? “Oh, this is so amazing” said The Ringmistress – please note that she didn’t use “awesome”…
    Le Clown

    1. Duly noted. Thank you. It was tough reading through some of those comments on “the other post”. That’s why I didn’t link directly to it. It was also great to see so many people come to the aid of Kim. It was a good post. Maybe I can fill that app out in 2 years and 3 months.

        1. I was very impressed with what you guys wrote in defense of her. I didn’t know her or the other one, but I heard from Tracy, so I put my two cents in as well. You just don’t attack one of your own!

  2. I love this list because it is actually pretty similar to my mental single-20-something-dudette list of pros and cons. My catS are in my bed right now just shedding the hell out of EVERYTHING. I sleep on a vacuum sealed cot to avoid asphyxiation.

        1. I’m not sure, just being hopeful. I don’t remember if I had her for much of last winter. I think from now on I’m going to start buying “hair print” clothes. That should fix the problem.

  3. I had no idea all that drama was going on! I step away from WordPress and I miss all the action…

    I love that you took that situation and turned it into something positive. It really says something about your character.

  4. Jon,

    You are new to the church (kind of) so you might not have heard this one, but then considering how prevalent it is for Mormons probably more than once. I will share a quote from the Great Steve Young (1996ish):

    You want to talk about the pressure I feel? Brigham Young once said…that anyone over 27 years of age that’s not married is a menace to society. So here’s my grandfather telling me to get with it. You don’t think I feel the pressure? I guarantee it.”

    No one can validate when Brother Brigham said this or even if he did so it probably apocryphal but it is still funny anyway. Most definitely given the man credit for at least one funny line.

    1. Yeah, I’ve heard that one. I think my favorite is one I heard about him being at a funeral, and someone asked what he thought about polygamy. When the casket passed he said “I’d rather be that guy.”

  5. I think guys that have cats are cool. I remember hearing a woman say that if a man has a pet it’s a good sign because eventually he has to take responsibility to feed the thing. But I also like that you are happy being single. No one should rush into a relationship just to not be alone.

    Have you seen the Engineer’s Guide to Cats on youtube? If not you should watch it. They are hilarious.

  6. I love pro & con lists! I usually can’t make them come out even either, but I also often come up with a pro (or con) that I feel like should count double or even triple, so I end up being a bit dissatisfied. But I sure do love thinking them up.

    also I think TWTG is hillarious and lovely and that other person needs a giant litter box for to keep their whole blog in.

    1. also, I think that finding a future BF from a group of people who like to read your blog and therefore appreciate your humor and think like you is genius and way smarter than those online dating sites that are full of lots of false profiles and quirky people with all quirks and no normal bits to make them actually tolerable.

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