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An E-Mail to the Missing

Hello Strangers,

How’s it going? You haven’t been around in a while. I can’t help but think maybe it’s my fault. I’m sure you’re proud of me and how my life has turned out, but I can’t know for sure. I’ve given up some pretty bad habits, but do you happen to think I’ve gained some different ones? I’ve traded booze, smokes and potty mouthery for scriptures, Church and more volunteer work. Do you think this is bad? I expect maybe it would make you a little uncomfortable. I’m sorry about that. I still manage to do some sinnin’ every once in a while. Not on purpose, of course. It just happens. I’m sure you do too, but I don’t care. That’s your deal, not mine. I can get over just about anything nowadays. Except for maybe murder. That’s kind of a big one. I bet I’d still be able to get over it though. Just might take some time. Maybe it would depend on how you do it too. If a dude gets done in with a poison blow dart, or chokes on a banana (Hey, don’t judge. You’re the murderer, not me.) I might get over it faster.

Anyway, so, what you been up to? Probably have the same answers everyone else has. ‘Nothing much’. ‘Busy, busy, busy’. ‘Oh, you know, this and that’. I guess I’ve been doing about the same. I have a pretty eventful weekend coming up, so I’m excited about that. So, why don’t you come around anymore? Do you think me some kind of Jesus freak now, or something? Don’t get me wrong, I love Him and our Heavenly Father very much, but I’m not a ‘freak’ about it. I promise. I’m still the same weirdo, nerd dude. I just happen to spend Sundays more reverently nowadays. I sit home most nights, unless I have a meeting. I would probably go out, if I were asked to. You know the bars around here will give DD’s free soda? That’s pretty cool. I have thing tonight. I’m hearing things about a taco bar. Talk about trading one kind of bar for another. Super pumped about that. I just have to make sure I don’t get any on me. I still don’t know how to eat like an adult. I should probably invest in some bibs.

My anniversary is coming up. My baptism will be a year on October 1st. That’s pretty exciting too. I can’t believe it’s been a year already. How about that? I have made all sorts of friends over the last year. They’re pretty great. I’ve met them at Church, Online, and during Jaycees events. They keep me occupied, if need be. I do still have room for you guys, if you come back sometime. It’s a shame I only see you out and about. Come by anytime you want. Well, not this week. The place is a little messy. The other day a buddy said "Man, I sure hope your future wife likes to do dishes." Yeah no kidding. I hope she does to. I mean, I’ll be more than willing to help, just saying that I don’t like doing them. Anyway, give me a few days, then you can stop by. Well, I need to get ready for the thing. I’ll talk with you later.

Regards, (Sorry guys, I’m not sure how to do this part. Yours Mine and Ours, would work….right?)

Brother Jon

4 thoughts on “An E-Mail to the Missing

  1. I don’t know if your intention with this blog was to make people laugh, but that was the effect it had on me tonight! Thank you…I needed to laugh. Your sense of humor is one of a kind. 🙂 Maybe you could come over some night so I can feed the missionaries! Good Mormon fun right there!

    1. Okay. I was confused for a second, then it hit me. I’m a little too literal some times. I was thinking like a bar of ice cream. Yes, those kinds of bars are good to. You often find them in Chinese restaurants, where the ice cream bar is often times the most ethnic thing around.

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