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Trust Me When I Say, Don’t Trust A Cat

Weird /wi(ə)rd/  Adjective – Suggesting something supernatural; uncanny: “the weird crying of a seal” or “man, that school teacher taking away that students peanut butter and jelly sandwich sure was weird” or “hey cat, why are you acting so weird?”

Let’s tackle the last sample sentence. I’ve called my cat several things over the years, besides her name, Mini. There’s been Witch, Psycho, Punk, Little Girl, and the one that gets used more often than not, Weirdo. For example “what are you doing, weirdo!” I think I may say this everyday, and it’s not unwarranted. (Cat’s like this one deserve double negatives most of the times.)

She’s passive-aggressive at times, aggressive-aggressive on the other occasions, and she even has moments where you’d swear she was human. There’s a lot of days where I get scared, but then I remember I’m the master and she would probably go and take a nap before trying to harm me in any way. Here are a few examples of her acting in a weird manner.

She likes to chew on plastic, preferably American Cheese wrappers. She will get into the trash and take them out just to have some plastic to play with. She also likes the plastic used to wrap cd’s and dvd’s. I often wonder myself a slob, then remember it’s just the cat messing with me.

You know how on blinds you often have a corner missing, because of kids or animals reaching in and causing them to break off? Well, my blinds were like that before she came along and it looks like a smaller animal was responsible for making this hole. When she goes to look out the window she doesn’t like having to bend over, so she will lift the rest of the blinds up with her nose to get a better look, as you or I would. I try to get a picture of this, but she is too quick.

Please, no more pictures!

She likes manly scents. I’m a dude, and kind of lazy every once in a while. When I get off of work I’ll often go home and change clothes and then chill out on the couch. In the middle of changing clothes my socks will end up on the living room floor. I do this cause she likes to play with them. No really, she does. If I say it enough people will start believing it. But really, she does like playing with them, mainly because I forget to take them off when changing and I don’t want to walk the ten feet into the other room.

Along with the above paragraph she also likes what I smell like when clean. I use Axe body spray and Old Spice deodorant. I’m usually out the door right after I take a shower, but not always. On Sundays I usually allow myself some extra time and end up sitting on the couch waiting before it’s time to head on to Church. This happened this morning. While sitting there she jumped up into my lap and started nuzzling my armpits and chest. You probably think this is cute. Not so much. Especially while wearing a white shirt and tie with black pants, and owning a cat that has both black and white hair. I have many hair rollers around here.

I wonder if this is all “normal” behavior?

9 thoughts on “Trust Me When I Say, Don’t Trust A Cat

    1. No, they’re not as smart as they like to let on. The real reason comes from Craig Ferguson. He says you shouldn’t trust them because they’ll eat you if you die in your home. Makes sense to me.

    1. What I think is funny is how she knows whether or not I’m really mad, or just messing around. If I’m just messing around she’ll run away. If I’m actually angry about something she scoots along, keeping low to the ground.

  1. This is the cat that formerly belong to another member of your family (ergo a lil screwy to begin with) and is now living with you (most certainly warped now) so her only being a little weird really isn’t so bad is it?
    Trust me she could be so much worse. Imagine if you will, just how far around the bend she would be if you were Uncle Bruddah Fadduh? Poor Mini. lol j/k
    She just as sweet and wonderful and ornery as her now ‘master’.

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