I’ve always been interested in writing – in being a writer. Back a few years ago I was living alone in Texas. I decided that since I had all of this time on my hands I would write a book. I decided on a young-adult–fantasy genre. I bought folders, paper, pencils, pens, crayons, markers and a Latin/English dictionary. I drew a map of the land I would be writing about. I developed a couple of characters, using the folders to keep everything organized and the dictionary to help me come up with the character’s and place’s names. I worked on this project for a total of about twelve hours. I abandoned it quickly. I’m not sure if I still have any of that stuff or not, and I don’t think it matters much if I do. That kind of writing wasn’t for me.
Later on I thought it would be neat to write a screenplay. How awesome would it be to write a movie? I wanted to write a modern-day Gangster movie, with a humorous spin. Like The Godfather or The Departed, if Wes Anderson would have written and directed them. I researched actors, directors, comedians, and real life gangsters. I wanted to incorporate the Italian and Irish mobs. I also wanted to include actual quotes and jokes from gangsters and comedians. A trivia buffs liquid dream. Can you imagine this? Jeff Goldblum as a Jewish Consigliere to someone like Jack Nicholson. Christopher Walken as a Crime boss always having to get out of spending time with his son Mars Callahan. (These too were in Poolhall Junkies together. Check it out.) Instead of dying from guns, knives and bombs they would be more worried about heart attacks, strokes and diabetes. I still have all of this research. Maybe I can revisit it, someday.
For now I’ve realized that my best bet as a writer will be non-fiction. But, what kind of non-fiction? I’m thinking the self-help genre. I think I might have enough experience to help someone quit drinking, if they really wanted to. (I wonder if I’ve been writing about drinking too much? It’s hard not to, seeings how I know so much about it.) So, now I want to get some help from you guys. The most important think about a self-help book is its title. Let me know what you think about these.
- My Car Only Takes Unleaded Nowadays – Get it? Cause my Crown-n-Coke is now just a Coke. I think this would be a good title because the buyer could insist that the book is about cars, if they were worried about someone asking.
- Keeping It Between the Mayonnaise and the Mustard is Better Than Going From Ditch to Ditch – Alright, this one is a little too long, but it would have a shortened, hip name, you know. Dirty Sandwich. This book could be made to look like a driving book.
- How to get UnDrunk – I think this one is my favorite. It’s straight forward, easy to understand, and can be interpreted as a humor book. I mean, getting sober is easy, but getting UnDrunk – that takes skillz. Skillz I gots.
Each one of these books could be interpreted as something that they are not, if the reader wants to do so. But please remember, it’s better to confront your problems head on, whether it’s with yourself, or with a friend or family member. If you think you have a problem, let someone know. If you think someone else has a problem, let them know. I have to admit, it’s really annoying for people to do this, but it was necessary for me to finally figure things out.
What kind of writing are you concentrating on?